About to have my first ever nervous breakdown, as I cry in the waiting room for really no apparent reason except for the fact of the pressures on my life, once again radiotherapists listen with intent, no judgement but love & then distract me MAFS.
My loving husband calls me, I do a 10 minute meditation in the car before I head to work and the quote resonates.
Love yourself, really love yourself. And accept with age comes the beauty of not caring what people think, wisdom & patience.
Happy days xx
Published by Debra Mesecke
I was 21 and I was planning a wedding, buying a house and had a job interview for the job of my dreams on my 22nd birthday. You see I was being made redundant and had to find a new job by August. Especially with the new mortgage now. It was April. I worked for CML and my new job was a done deal. All I needed was a medical. And with that, just like that....my life was turned upside down and I was diagnosed with CML, ha ha, I know the irony. My hematologist had a laugh at that too. I had Chronic Myeloid Leukeamia, which was normally reserved for 70 year old men. Quite rare for a young adult to get, so how would they treat it? I underwent two separate trials until finally it was decided my best chance of survival (all be it only 50% chance), would be a MUD BMT (matched unrelated bone marrow transplant), now known as VUD Allograt (volunteer unrelated donor). I was told 21 years ago the chance of finding a match was 1 in 20,000 (and that is everyone was on the bone marrow donor registry). Scary odds. So being the risk taker I am I said "go for it". They found a match and that was my first miracle in this journey. The second miracle was, it worked - new blood type, two different DNA profiles and the miracle of medicine was reborn inside me. The third miracle is my son.
25 years on, I now face a new challenge. Breast Cancer. Certainly not the first person to have cancer, to have invasive ductile cancer, hormone receptive and HER2 +, or to even have a dual diagnosis. But this is not another Webiste about a cancer survivor, this is just my excuse to finally publicly write. Along the way I am hoping I can share some insights I have learnt over the years and at the same time, give you a good belly laugh.
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One thought on “A new day A new low”
Deb – my heart goes out to you. I know you have had a really sucky couple of weeks and you have been dealing so well. Truth is – you have actually had a really sucky year or so with some great highs in between which you have hung onto. Sometimes the mind and body just get overwhelmed and shit just gets on top of you. You have been running on empty for a while now and you are more than entitled to have the occasional breakdown. Remember you are surrounded by lots of love and if you want me to sit in the waiting room any day at all – just let me know. I can hand you the tissues, give you a hug and I would even listen to all the MAFS talk (see how much I love you) xx