Ding Ding..Round 5
Journal entry by deb mesecke —
So much to say, where do I start?
Well not my finest hour last week. After my fall from grace (on the stairs at work during blind clinic) simply showing them how not to do it…ha ha or should I say letting them know how it sounds if they do! I sneezed on Tuesday night and ended up in Emergency Wednesday due to the intense reverberating 10/10 pain. Must have miss-lodged or ”popped’ something. Diagnosed as muscular & cartridge damage round the right hand side of the rib cage. Endone then followed for the rest of the week which made me feel ill. So much for my good week. To top it off I took a fork to the board room instead of a pen on Friday. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again……CHEMO BRAIN
So today I stepped into that mother farkin ring again…with my most staunch fan & supporter. Who went to the trouble of getting Todd Sampson’s autograph in Tassie for me. Thanks Chez. Those who don’t know Todd’s work-google him or watch #body hack..all about what the mind can get the body to do. When scientists talk about only using 3% of our brains they’re not talking more technology inventions or medical breakthroughs, they’re talking connection. The things we could achieve if only we could make that connection….believe = another word for positive thinking, which brings me to Amy Schumer’s movie ‘I Feel Pretty’. Life is truly a state of mind whether U want to walk a Crazy ass tightrope or just to like what U see in the mirror. Vote for me for PM cause one of my mandates is SKINNY MIRRORS EVERYWHERE. At this rate I’ve got a red hot chance!
Anyway U want to hear about the fight right? Not about how my neurons shoot across my brain cells from one thought to another. Well today took longer then normal due to some minor concerns, typically to occur with chemo. I’m calling them “set backs”.. get it? I just can’t catch a break – thank god. Boom boom!
Well I have low hemoglobin and low blood pressure ( you heard it folks LOW BP) which could explain why I’ve been feeling light headed, but not on those stairs guys I was simply uncoordinated there. I was at 145 hemoglobin & now at 108 which is quite a drop to my usual self. Any lower and I’ll need a transfusion. Couple that with a BP of 99/60 to my usual 140/90 weeeel then it’s a no brainer.
In addition I have a racing heart which they want to do a CT scan for to check for blood clots. I also need a bone density full body scan which will mean another Valium to get me through.
The most disappointing news was I haven’t had my tumour or lymph node ”marked” for base line assessment which potentially means in surgery they won’t find the right suspicious lymph to remove because it may have completely reduced, as with the tumour. Yes great they have reduced…(my oncologist couldn’t even feel the tumour today) but for prognosis not great if they can’t find the correct lymph. Thanks Tiong…he also buried my port so deep they have to use a long needle which is just a little more painful every time. So the “marking” happens under ultrasound and local anesthetic Friday. And that’s today’s gripe.
On the bright side Foster’s U14s LFC team has made semi finals after an over 100 point win in an elimination final on Sunday. Yeeha. Oh yeah …..and the tumour’s shrinking. Was there any doubt? Believe and make it real. Xx
Well not my finest hour last week. After my fall from grace (on the stairs at work during blind clinic) simply showing them how not to do it…ha ha or should I say letting them know how it sounds if they do! I sneezed on Tuesday night and ended up in Emergency Wednesday due to the intense reverberating 10/10 pain. Must have miss-lodged or ”popped’ something. Diagnosed as muscular & cartridge damage round the right hand side of the rib cage. Endone then followed for the rest of the week which made me feel ill. So much for my good week. To top it off I took a fork to the board room instead of a pen on Friday. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again……CHEMO BRAIN
So today I stepped into that mother farkin ring again…with my most staunch fan & supporter. Who went to the trouble of getting Todd Sampson’s autograph in Tassie for me. Thanks Chez. Those who don’t know Todd’s work-google him or watch #body hack..all about what the mind can get the body to do. When scientists talk about only using 3% of our brains they’re not talking more technology inventions or medical breakthroughs, they’re talking connection. The things we could achieve if only we could make that connection….believe = another word for positive thinking, which brings me to Amy Schumer’s movie ‘I Feel Pretty’. Life is truly a state of mind whether U want to walk a Crazy ass tightrope or just to like what U see in the mirror. Vote for me for PM cause one of my mandates is SKINNY MIRRORS EVERYWHERE. At this rate I’ve got a red hot chance!
Anyway U want to hear about the fight right? Not about how my neurons shoot across my brain cells from one thought to another. Well today took longer then normal due to some minor concerns, typically to occur with chemo. I’m calling them “set backs”.. get it? I just can’t catch a break – thank god. Boom boom!
Well I have low hemoglobin and low blood pressure ( you heard it folks LOW BP) which could explain why I’ve been feeling light headed, but not on those stairs guys I was simply uncoordinated there. I was at 145 hemoglobin & now at 108 which is quite a drop to my usual self. Any lower and I’ll need a transfusion. Couple that with a BP of 99/60 to my usual 140/90 weeeel then it’s a no brainer.
In addition I have a racing heart which they want to do a CT scan for to check for blood clots. I also need a bone density full body scan which will mean another Valium to get me through.
The most disappointing news was I haven’t had my tumour or lymph node ”marked” for base line assessment which potentially means in surgery they won’t find the right suspicious lymph to remove because it may have completely reduced, as with the tumour. Yes great they have reduced…(my oncologist couldn’t even feel the tumour today) but for prognosis not great if they can’t find the correct lymph. Thanks Tiong…he also buried my port so deep they have to use a long needle which is just a little more painful every time. So the “marking” happens under ultrasound and local anesthetic Friday. And that’s today’s gripe.
On the bright side Foster’s U14s LFC team has made semi finals after an over 100 point win in an elimination final on Sunday. Yeeha. Oh yeah …..and the tumour’s shrinking. Was there any doubt? Believe and make it real. Xx
Drama Queen
Journal entry by deb mesecke —
Will I stop at nothing to get a little attention???
Just stacked it big time down the stairs at work……..heard they were calling an ambulance so climbed my way up to standing and said “it was just a test to see if my wig stayed on”
Meanwhile coffee everywhere, and sore everywhere!
Healthy, Happy & Whole 