To:jgrooveshotmoves@hotmail.com
Date: 31st August
Subject: Bad Day
Hey Jay
Oh my god, what a day. My last 2 nightshifts have been hell. The Big Hospital was on divert again, so we get all local ambulances, plus the usual Monday night 4-6 hour waiters who couldn’t get into their GP after the weekend. Lots of really sick patients and 2 code blues on ward. I was senior doctor, so had to run them. On way to first arrest, we got locked out of a corridor (with the Resus trolley), as the swipe card access to a door was broken, so my nurse and I then have to run an alternate route, only to hear the ward nurses saying “gee they’re taking their time!!” Luckily it wasn’t a time critical incident so we were able to stabilise the patient. On the bright side, maybe the running would’ve burnt off some of the chips & cheese we’d been gorging on to get through the horror shift.
So I’m stuffed, skip the gym (Jed’s away anyway, so that’s not as tragic as it could’ve been). I fall into bed, have a fitful few hours of broken sleep – they are now concreting and bricklaying on house they’re building next door. Yippee 🙂
I nearly miss school pick up as I forgot to set my alarm, thank god I woke at 3:05pm to pee. You know I usually get to school by 2:45 at latest to secure a car park. I shove myself into a dirty pair of leggings and jumper hanging over edge off bed, race to car, arrive at school at 3:19. Harry’s bell goes at 3:10. I’m lucky enough to snag a park as a punctual organised mother backs out and I park front forward instead of my usual easy for departure reverse park. I am quite frazzled by now and still half asleep but thankfully locate Harry, blissfully oblivious to my tardiness, playing with some mates. Unfortunately, he then has a meltdown over some Pokemon cards he’s left in the classroom so we run upstairs (he’s in the big building now) for him to only then casually remember they’re in his schoolbag. Needless to say by this stage I’m as flustered as a flightless fairy, fretting to Harry to hurry up and buckle in once we get back to the car, only to then, in my discombobulated state, reverse into another car idling through production line of school carpark traffic. Bang/crash/crunch. Shit!!!! Of course said car belongs to a Mum I know, which is mortifying but at least she’s nice about it. Unfortunately, it’s my lucky day (not) and although you can barely see a scratch on her car, she tells me they are currently selling it so will need to file a claim. While we exchange details, and I suppress the urge to totally meltdown and try to ignore the stares from other judgmental parents smirking at “the stupid blonde” (remember my shabby attire plus I haven’t washed my face and still have bed hair!) Harry becomes more hysterical (he’s been fretting from the moment of impact), as he notices my car has borne the brunt of the collision and has a big dent in the back. He’s screaming “Mummy, you’ve hurt Emily, Emily’s really badly hurt!” Then come more shocked stares of parents who couldn’t know my uniquely sensitive (okay weird) son has named my car, so they obviously assume I’ve injured another child!
Bloody hell, what a day. Luke is going to kill me, just paid excess on repairs from my last ding. Can this day get any worse??
WTFW?? So much for my grandiose plan for an alcohol-free week and buckling down on books for upcoming course.
Your tired, stressed, car maiming BFF
Zo
Xx
To: yummumzobum@hotmail.com
Date: 31st August
Subject: RE: Bad Day
OMG Zo did you really just have another accident?!!
J
To:jgrooveshotmoves@hotmail.com
Date: 1st Sept
Subject: Averted disaster
Hey Jay
You’ll never believe it but I nearly crashed the hire car!!
Yep – you heard right, Emily’s at crash repairers (car hospital according to Harry!) and I have a little circa 1980s 2 door Festiva with the turning circle of a large truck!!!
So I survive the slug up the hill to the hospital, make it all way to gym – session with Jed, got him to release my glut again (I swear it’s trigger point, not just sneaky attempt at getting him to massage my butt!).
Anyway make it out of gym carpark, no mean feat even with power steering and even shopping center car park unscathed.
So nearly sleep in again but thank god for weak bladder and am at school, albeit shabby again, but by 2:55, cruisy I think!! But alas, car park full, WTFW. So I find illegal park in turn around area, and sit back with my novel, pulling seat back. Of course no clock in fricken Festiva, and forgot my watch in haste, so I miss the bell. Suddenly see kids streaming out. No drama, I think – still will catch Harry before he misses me but find him harried (no pun intended) looking for me – “Mummy we’ve got to hurry – it’s parent teacher interviews, we’re at 3:15!!” Shit, I had totally forgotten. I grimace as I remember my slap-dash dressing, jeans, brown sneakers, white 3/4 T-shirt with stain on front, no make up, hastily shoved up hair. I ask a nearby parent for time, you guessed it 3:18!!
Luckily Mrs P is running late, so we make it upstairs in time. If she does notice my lack of grooming and preparation, she’s kind enough not to obviously acknowledge. Harry gets glowing feedback, she’s keen to retest him for SHIP later this term. All is good.
Until…. We return to Fred – yep Harry’s already named the Festiva, and I hustle Harry into car seat which only just fits, find room for bags, it’s a 2 door and I’ve got gym bag, shopping bags, handbag, basic crap (that I had to embarrassingly relocate from Emily at crash repairers, much to mechanic’s badly disguised frustration).
So I forget that I put seat back to read, jump in, start ignition, put into drive, only to realize I can’t reach accelerator. Instead of calmly turning off ignition, I try to move seat forward whilst trying to accelerate and turn out of park, foot slips off and I lose grip on wheel, have to slump almost to floor to slam on brake, only just missing another car reversing out.
“Mummy, not again shouts Harry” you have to be careful with fricken Fred (he noticed my expletives during incident!)
Anyway home safe. Car intact (just)
LOL (what else can I do!)
Zo
Xx
To: ‘<yummumzobum@hotmail.com>
Subject: I believe it! Your struggle is real xx
J
Healthy, Happy & Whole 