TGIF Chapter 5


SENT: 14th August

B.O.R.E.D ……found it what it means to me!!

Zo,  I’m back on the grid finally after being away for three weeks.  Well our trip across the Nullarbor did not go as planned.

We set off all is going well and 80k’s out of Pt Augusta we hit an emu.  That’s right – an emu, not a kangaroo, a snake, sleepy lizard, but an emu of all things – well his head went one way and his legs went another and his body just disappeared under us, I screamed, Dash screamed I think even Troy screamed and then our car just died.  When a farmer came along he organised on his CB for a tow truck.  3 hours later back at the workshop we find accommodation for the night.  The next morning they tell us our suspension has been wiped out and our radiator’s rooted.  8 days later and $4500 (they saw us coming even if the emu didn’t) we got on our way.  Three days to cross the Nullarbor – lucky our friends in Perth didn’t take time off work to spend with us.  Other than that our trip was great.

No wild life stepped out in front of us on the way home.

Can’t wait till tonight – they just gave me a left over processed meat and cheese platter from Christmas in July from work.  So don’t eat lunch!!


It’s been four Friday’s since I’ve seen Zo (I talk in Friday’s rather than weeks, you know, like four Friday’s till Easter or two Friday’s till Christmas).  Anyway, so much has happened that I am almost peeing my pants to see her (no-one better make me laugh at school pick up). Zoe and Harry are meeting us back at our house where I have some sweet chilli haloumi and kabana to fry up to go with a peppery Bleasdale Mulbury Tree Cabernet Sauvignon.  Because we haven’t seen each other in so long, the boys are meeting us after work and we’ll probably play cards, Taboo or maybe even SingStar.  I’ve just got this really nagging thought that’s bugging me…… never mind, I won’t even bother mentioning it, it’s probably nothing.

“They’re here!” Dash yells as Zoe’s car pulls in the driveway.  On nights when she knows she’ll have to leave a car here, she parks in the driveway.

We hug each other at the back door as Harry squeezes between us to knock Dash down with a hug of his own.  Oh I love holiday’s but it’s good to be back to our Fridays.  I don’t realise how much I miss them until I don’t have them.

We settle down to our glasses (ok they’re more like jugs) of wine I’ve just poured and talk about what’s been going on over the last four Fridays.

“So Jay how bad was your car accident?”

“Oh Zo, it was so awful”.  My eyes tear up and I have to hold down a sob.  Just the thought of it makes me feel sick.  Zo reaches out and pats my hand.  She understands how traumatic this would have been for me – if solely for the guilt of being responsible for the road kill.  Once a flock of gala’s flew into our car on the open road in the York Peninsula and it took me months to get over it and for the nightmares to cease.

“We had to drag his body off the road, so no-one else got injured by hitting it.  It was half stuck under the car and half to the road.  I had to throw my new Laura Jane top and Guess jeans out because there was so much blood.  Dash just cried and cried in the car saying ‘poor emu, poor emu, he was just going for a walk’, then asked what happens if dad gets hit by car when he goes for a walk in the morning.  Deputy was trying to eat it, bloody dog, so then when we got into the town we had to wash him down.  As they towed the car away I saw the part of the emu’s foot dangling from underneath the car.”  I couldn’t hold it in any longer, I started to weep.

“Mummy are you thinking about Eddie Emu again?” (Dash thought it would help if we named the victim and had a memorial service when we got to Perth for it).

“Mummy, you just have to build a bridge – accidents happen.  Eddies in a better place now”.  Out of the mouths of babes.  I think that’s the line I sold her when Nanna died.

“Okay Dash why don’t you tell auntie Zo about our fishing adventure”.  Our friends took us out to Monkey Mia to see the dolphins on a day trip which was amazing and the next day we went on their fishing boat.

“Well I had my fishing line in the water and it got stuck and Uncle Craig had to cut the line cause he said I caught a snag!”  Dash holds her hands as far apart as she can get them, indicating how big a snag is.

“He said it’s one of the biggest fish in the sea – I would never have been able to pull it in on my own, so the kindest thing to do was cut the line and let it swim away.  Dad said he’s gonna do a google to show me what a snag looks like.”

We finish our first bottle and Zo follows me into the kitchen where I start frying the kabana and haloumi.  We’ve already polished off a packet of Sweet Chilli Red Rock Chips so now it’s time for the heavy artillery.  We make kebabs out of them, or what I like to call heart attack on a stick.

“What you doing on the weekend Jay?”

“Well tomorrow night I’ve invited 2 guys and their wives over that I used to work with.  We got along really well, and I miss them a bit.  We used to have these philosophical chats and dream interpretation sessions all the time.  Anyway it’s been a while since we caught up so they’re coming over, but what’s interesting is one of them has been trying to catch me for coffee for months but work and, you know gym and stuff has just made it impossible to catch up, so he texts me today and says ‘looking forward to tomorrow night hope you don’t mind but I want to talk to you about a business proposition when I’m there’”

“That sounds ominous”

“I know – I don’t know if I want to change anything.  I’m loving my life at the moment.  I just got used to the idea of having no responsibility at work after the last restructure –  I hate those fuckoolahs for doing that, but I’ve finally accepted it and now I just don’t know what to think”

“Well don’t think anything till you hear what he has to say”

“That’s exactly what Troy said…you been talking?” I’m just joking, but am I?

Zo gives me a coy smile

“DADDY!” Dash screams as Troy walks in the door.

Luke arrives seconds after and Harry jumps onto his back, almost making him drop his box of beers, cosmo ingredients and extra nibbles.

“Part two begins” I say as we chink our glasses.


“So tell me about your car, is it going to be as good as new?”

“Forget about the car Luke, that poor emu was annihilated from the face of this earth in front of our very eyes. Right in front of my face !”(I imitate an AFL Crows fan, who believed we were robbed of a final due to poor umpiring – private joke between the four of us). “You know I can’t even bare to watch poor Harry drown those defenseless bees in your pool.”

Luke just laughs.  God I love Zoe and with that of course I love her family, but I hate it when Luke laughs at my intense need to preserve ALL life.

I squirm in my seat as I glance over my shoulder.  Zo and Troy are singing Maroon 5 on SingStar.  I know it’s Maroon 5 because I can see the television and Troy can hold a tune.  Zo on the other hand is as tone deaf as a stobie pole, god bless her.  But never to let anything stand in her way she’ll join in because she knows it’s something the rest of us get a kick out of.  Looking at them I get this twinge, this thing in my stomach where it feels like it’s plunged into the surf at Boomer Beach only to have left my body standing on the rocks.

Zoe looks at me and smiles, then shrugs.  She’s scored a 2130.  Troy has won on a Lead Singer rating of 8090.

“You’re up” she yells and hands the mic over to me

“OK babe, what do you want?”  Troy asks

We have a rule with SingStar.  The winner gets to stay for another battle but the challenger gets to choose the song.

“Whitney Houston – The Greatest Love”

“argh” all three groan in unison

This, or Spandau Ballet ‘Gold’ or ‘True’ are my three golden songs.  I can beat anyone on one of these, it’s my guarantee to get control of the mic.  I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m no Australia’s Got Talent Guy Sebastian, but I’m the total package; dancing, singing, a true entertainment act. I’m just kidding of course, I just love to let go and have fun, no matter how bad I am, or who’s watching.  Don’t get me started on how I emptied the Karaoke bar on the cruise ship given how bad I was… Anyway, I think it comes from years of tap and jazz ballet and piano.  Troy hates to admit it (especially in front of Luke) but he seriously likes this song too.  He has been known to sing ‘The Greatest Love’ word for word in it’s entirety in the shower on many occasions getting ready for work.  He’s a morning person.  Truth be told if anyone’s going to come close to beating me on this song, it’s Troy.

As predicted it’s a dual till the end and I pip him only on the final note, that he simply runs out of breath to hold on to.  Thank god for my fitness.

“You really need to pace yourself on that one babe” I jibe

I get a SingStar rating of 9010 and the ‘choir’ sings for me – not that I’m bragging – it is set on easy.

“Whatever” he says as he puts his mic down and grabs his beer.  I really do hate it when he’s a sore loser.  It takes all the glory out of it.

“Well done babe” Zoe says as she hands me another cosmo.

Thankfully the kids have built a cubby in Dash’s bedroom, storming off earlier declaring “it’s too loud”.  Welcome to our world we had thought.  Harry will probably sleep the night.

As the night gets later, we get louder, messier and OK I admit it, the responsible parents get a little irresponsible.  And when we get drunk we EAT.  Lot’s of chips, cheese, crackers and did I mention chips?  I know I’m too far too gone to even contemplate my double class at the gym tomorrow.  And by the looks of Zoe, I don’t think she’ll make her City to Bay training either.  Her and Troy have been doing a lot of training together lately.  Early mornings and weekends, means at times I’ve thought she is seeing more of my husband than I am.

Just before Luke announces it’s time to go (he’s checked his breathalyzer and he’s good to drive), I see Troy whisper something in Zoe’s ear and she smiles and nods.

TEXT: OMG just got home from work, couldn’t find Deputy – listened to answering machine  & the Fruit & Veg shop left a message to say he was wandering around in their store. I’m off to pick him up now Jxx