Deflated

~ Debra Mesecke

Yes you heard me right. It’s a real thing. I had a fortnight between expansions this round, while we try and play catch up to the left, with the stubborn right breast. I felt after the first week, I was mostly even or right on track to be. By the time I saw my Doc the second week, it felt as though it had reduced in size a little. Impossible I thought. Stop being paranoid I told myself. She confirmed ‘sometimes that happens, they can deflate’. I was devoed. She explained the muscles can oppose the expander, but if there is room in the breast pocket the expander will win eventually. She didn’t seem too concerned. I mean they’re not her tits are they? She just pumped some more in, wam, bam, thank you mam, see you next fortnight!

So after that little event I decided once and for all, to go and get fitted and measured. 14 DD and a 12 E!! WTseriousF. All the websites online with my measurements eluded to a B, a potential C – one site even said I was an A cup. I think my girth definitely has assisted that DD cup size, although I’m aware that the numbers are the band size, we all know they can be interchanged to get the same fit. She looked for the bone of the bra to fit on my side boob correctly and the DD’s are for sure the most comfortable bra (pre mastectomy) I’ve had in years. They are soft half cups to allow for my finished product to settle if needed. A good starter pack anyway. Makes me wonder though if I was in the right bra size for a decade! Probable always a C cup actual, but never really ventured out of a 12 for self esteem reasons!

So in laying all that ground work, I am feeling very happy with my body shape at the moment and as long as no more deflation takes place I reckon I’m ready to go for it and lock these babies in. As fate would have it, after my reconstruction op I was eager and asked my surgeon how long before the implant surgery and she predicted ‘about 4 months’. Well it is bang on 4 months on Sunday. She’s crazy good!

I did the calculation for 4 months after that surgery and worked out it would fall right on the weekend after our 25th wedding anniversary. Another reason I went out and bought some sexy lingerie. So I’m hopeful the surgery can be planned for end of June early July. Next step beyond that is nipples, sun bake naked again, then take on the world and be the best wellness coach the universe has ever seen!

Happy days xx

Published by Debra Mesecke

I was 21 and I was planning a wedding, buying a house and had a job interview for the job of my dreams on my 22nd birthday.  You see I was being made redundant and had to find a new job by August.  Especially with the new mortgage now.  It was April.  I worked for CML and my new job was a done deal.  All I needed was a medical.  And with that, just like that....my life was turned upside down and I was diagnosed with CML, ha ha, I know the irony.  My hematologist had a laugh at that too.  I had Chronic Myeloid Leukeamia, which was normally reserved for 70 year old men.  Quite rare for a young adult to get, so how would they treat it?  I underwent two separate trials until finally it was decided my best chance of survival (all be it only 50% chance), would be a MUD BMT (matched unrelated bone marrow transplant), now known as VUD Allograt (volunteer unrelated donor).  I was told 21 years ago the chance of finding a match was 1 in 20,000 (and that is everyone was on the bone marrow donor registry).  Scary odds. So being the risk taker I am I said "go for it".  They found a match and that was my first miracle in this journey.  The second miracle was, it worked - new blood type, two different DNA profiles and the miracle of medicine was reborn inside me.  The third miracle is my son.  25 years on, I now face a new challenge.  Breast Cancer.  Certainly not the first person to have cancer, to have invasive ductile cancer, hormone receptive and HER2 +, or to even have a dual diagnosis.  But this is not another Webiste about a cancer survivor, this is just my excuse to finally publicly write.  Along the way I  am hoping I can share some insights I have learnt over the years and at the same time, give you a good belly laugh.

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