It’s OK for you, you feel good!

Ba ha ha, this is what my son said to me yesterday, when he was too sick to go to footy training and I tried to convince him he would feel better after he got dressed and got out there!

Did I need to remind him I’d worked through 8 months of chemo, I was less than 2 weeks out of major surgery and no I didn’t “feel” good, but I felt OK cause I don’t dwell on the negatives only the positives and that’s how I get through each day.

It was a good thing, my close friend Cheryl was there to remind me he is only 14 who’s just made under 16’s Glenelg squad, school house captain, played a full 4 quarters Henley High game on Monday in the heat, played 2 AFLX games for Crows last Wednesday and a full game of 24 minute quarters trial game for Glenelg 5 days ago, and swam at the school carnival on Tuesday.  Do I expect too much? Perhaps.  Is he capable? I know he is. Is he my little super star? Of course. I guess the the questions is, where do you draw the line between tough love and not being one of those parents who push their kids at all costs to the point where the kids hate their life? (Tomic I’m talking about you).  I think it’s a fine line and I’m comfortable with the line I’m walking.  I’m tough but fair, I encourage the dream, but instill hard work will get you there.  I practice and role model resilience, self care, positive thinking and taking every opportunity offered.

And I am validated this morning when Foster asks, ‘when can you drive again mum?’ and ‘Where is it still sore?’. This is his way of acknowledging my journey and showing his appreciation.  God I love my life, my son, my husband and of course my friends AND my new puppy.

Sometimes I forget I have a puppy because he seriously takes himself off to nap in the bathroom or the laundry.  He is absolutely no trouble at all.

So this morning 1 day shy of 2 weeks post op, my skin is sensitive, irritable and a little sore because the numbness is wearing off.  I’m due back at work next week, prior to my next chapter in this journey, the zap.  I’ve had two seromas drained and my wound sites, where the drains came out are poles apart in their recovery. One perfect, one not so much.  My left remaining breast tissue was so sore, I questioned if they took the lymph node from the correct side (the right breast being the tumour site).  They did of course, but as a cancer patient, we tend to find reasons all the time to not really  believe the great results we get.  But time and time again I preach, believe and make it real.  Fake it till you make it. Your thoughts create your future.  That is all I have been thinking for the last 8 months, so Me of all people should not have been surprised.  And I wasn’t but at the same time, that seed of doubt…………… it’s a tremendous weight, you have to shrug off those shoulders every day, just to survive.

So on a final note, Todd rings this morning and says “a guy dressed in a Richo uniform in my work lift asked me ‘how’s Deb?’ I replied, good, an inspiration, and then he was gone, who was he?”

How the hell should I know – so if you’re out there Richo man, reveal yourself, and BTW, thanks for asking!

Happy Days xx

Murray the Groodle 11 weeks old

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